Bean sprouts
Bean sprouts are interdimensional travelers begging the question, "where have all the flowers gone?" Not for nothing, but health weirdos are pushing them. You can even get them at cheap-assed grocery stores. You know the ones. Where produce has legs and claws. And teeth! Those horrible teeth!
When the Apocalypse comes, bean sprouts will be among the first cantilevers. Some asshole with a plastic gun will no doubt show up to the festivities. My dad, in his singularly accented English, called it a "fiestoo". And to him, this meant going poopies.
I will speak now. I will speak of profound things that have no purpose other than that which is ineffable and incomprehensible. This crap is the bane of philosophy, theology and science, if only because it's so damned fickle. The teeth are by far the scariest part. Three-edged with counter rotating serrations, these things will chew through a fire hose.