Bi-Polar Bear
The Bi-Polar Bear - unlike its regular counterpart, the Uni-Polar Bear - exists at both the South Pole and North Pole simultaneously - hence the name. In light of its behavior, it is believed that it finds this aspect of its existence to be rather unbearable. (or perhaps dibearable, as opposed to unibearable. in any case, it seems to be pretty grizzly indeed)
┴ɥǝ ᙠᴉ-ԁolɐɹ ᙠǝɐɹ - nulᴉʞǝ ᴉʇs ɹǝɓnlɐɹ ɔonuʇǝɹdɐɹʇ' ʇɥǝ -∩uᴉԁolɐɹ ᙠǝɐɹ - ǝxᴉsʇs ɐʇ qoʇɥ ʇɥǝ sonʇɥ ԁolǝɐup noɹʇɥ ԁolǝ sᴉɯnlʇɐuǝonslʎ - ɥǝuɔǝ ʇɥǝ uɐɯǝ. Iu lᴉɓɥʇ oɟ ᴉʇs qǝɥɐʌᴉoɹ' ᴉʇ ᴉs qǝlᴉǝʌǝp ʇɥɐʇ ᴉʇ ɟᴉups ʇɥᴉs ɐsdǝɔʇ oɟ ᴉʇs ǝxᴉsʇǝuɔǝ ʇo qǝ ɹɐʇɥǝɹ nu 'qǝɐɹ'ɐqlǝ. )oɹ dǝɹɥɐds pᴉqǝɐɹɐqlǝ' ɐs oddosǝp ʇo nuᴉqǝɐɹɐqlǝ. ᴉu ɐuʎ ɔɐsǝ' ᴉʇ sǝǝɯs ʇo qǝ dɹǝʇʇʎ ɓɹᴉzzlʎ ᴉupǝǝp(
| GWRARRRGGGHHH! COME HERE PUNY LITTLE FISH I'M GOING TO BITE YOUR HEAD OFF AND EAT YOUR EYEBALLS FIRST AND THEN SPIT YOU OUT SO I CAN ENJOY EATING YOU AGAIN! THEN I'M GOING TO FIND THE REST OF YOUR SCHOOL, LINE THEM UP, AND SLOWLY CHOMP ON THEM UNTIL THEY CAN NO LONGER TAKE THE PAIN AND WISH TO BE EATEN LIKE THE REST!!! | ||
—The Bi-Polar Bear at 11:53 AM | ||
| ∀ᴚᴚᴚפפפhhh¡ ɔowǝ hǝᴚǝ ԁ∩n⅄ ⅂i┴┴⅂ǝ ⅎish i,w פoinפ ┴o ᙠi┴ǝ ⅄o∩ᴚ hǝ∀ᗡ oⅎⅎ ∀nᗡ ǝ∀┴ ⅄o∩ᴚ ǝ⅄ǝᙠ∀⅂⅂s ⅎiᴚs┴ ∀nᗡ ┴hǝn sԁi┴ ⅄o∩ o∩┴ so i ɔ∀n ǝnſo⅄ ǝ∀┴inפ ⅄o∩ ∀פ∀in¡ ┴hǝn i,w פoinפ ┴o ⅎinᗡ ┴hǝ ᴚǝs┴ oⅎ ⅄o∩ᴚ sɔhoo⅂' ⅂inǝ ┴hǝw ∩ԁ' ∀nᗡ s⅂om⅂⅄ ɔhowԁ on ┴hǝw ∩n┴i⅂ ┴hǝ⅄ ɔ∀n no ⅂onפǝᴚ ┴∀ʞǝ ┴hǝ ԁ∀in ∀nᗡ mish ┴o ᙠǝ ǝ∀┴ǝn ⅂iʞǝ ┴hǝ ᴚǝs┴¡¡¡ | ||
—┴ɥǝ ᙠᴉ-ԁolɐɹ ᙠǝɐɹ ɐʇ ⇂⇂:ϛɛ ∀w | ||
| Sigh... What's the point of all this? I eat a fish and just get hungry a couple hours later anyways. Maybe if I just jumped off this cliff into the pond I could end it all and not worry about my next meal. No, it's not worth it unless somebody sees it and feels my pain. Maybe I should wait until day so the kids on their field trip. But I always feel better by daytime! Oh misery. When will you take me from this world? | ||
—The Bi-Polar Bear at 10:27 PM | ||
| Sᴉɓɥ... Mɥɐʇ,s ʇɥǝ doᴉuʇ oɟ ɐll ʇɥᴉs¿ i ǝɐʇ ɐ ɟᴉsɥ ɐup ɾnsʇ ɓǝʇ ɥnuɓɹʎ ɐ ɔondlǝ ɥonɹs lɐʇǝɹ ɐuʎʍɐʎs. Wɐʎqǝ ᴉɟ i ɾnsʇ ɾnɯdǝp oɟɟ ʇɥᴉs ɔlᴉɟɟ ᴉuʇo ʇɥǝ doup i ɔonlp ǝup ᴉʇ ɐll ɐup uoʇ ʍoɹɹʎ ɐqonʇ ɯʎ uǝxʇ ɯǝɐl. No' ᴉʇ,s uoʇ ʍoɹʇɥ ᴉʇ nulǝss soɯǝqopʎ sǝǝs ᴉʇ ɐup ɟǝǝls ɯʎ dɐᴉu. Wɐʎqǝ i sɥonlp ʍɐᴉʇ nuʇᴉl pɐʎ so ʇɥǝ ʞᴉps ou ʇɥǝᴉɹ ɟᴉǝlp ʇɹᴉd. ᙠnʇ i ɐlʍɐʎs ɟǝǝl qǝʇʇǝɹ qʎ pɐʎʇᴉɯǝ¡ oɥ ɯᴉsǝɹʎ. Mɥǝu ʍᴉll ʎon ʇɐʞǝ ɯǝ ɟɹoɯ ʇɥᴉs ʍoɹlp¿ | ||
—┴ɥǝ ᙠᴉ-ԁolɐɹ ᙠǝɐɹ ɐʇ ⇂0:ᘔㄥ ԁw | ||