Bielefeld

Bielefeld is a mythological city in Germany. It is important to note that people who claim Bielefeld is real are invariably lying. Have you ever been to Bielefeld, or met someone from Bielefeld? Exactly!

Theorisation

The existence of Bielefeld was first proposed by Frederick “Mushbrain” Dunce in his book “The man from Bielefeld”. This conspiracy was quickly disproved, but Dunce stood firm in his convictions:

“Yes, Bielefeld is a real place. It is the ninth largest city in Germany in fact. I would highly recommend visiting Crazy Chuck’s Clotted Cream Palace. 5 Stars.” - Frederick “Mushbrain” in “The man from Bielefeld”, Page 94

Dunce claimed to have visited Bielefeld himself. He announced his discovery to a half-full hall of laughing scientists in their sixties at the German Society of Conspiracies in Hamburg.

Features of Legend

According to Dunce, Bielefeld contained many industrial estates only frequented by the occasional Slug, and most of the city was made up of sad-looking grey council estates. In the centre of the city lay the Dösnottexisten Square, and in the centre of that lay a monument. Nobody knew what the monument was supposed to be of, as long ago somebody stole it and replaced it with a bronze quesrion mark. Prominent businesses include Crazy Chuck’s Clotted Cream Palace, Insane Ike’s Ikea Fan Club and Mad Mike’s Morgue Shop.