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The black plague is a horrible disease. Symptoms are as follows:
- Uncontrollable coughing while running in gym class
- The need to body slam somebody in your PJs
- Unexplained splinters appearing in strange and unusual places
- The sudden urge to play Morrowind non-stop till your hands fall off
- The strange, but intense love of complete dorks and homicidal maniacs
- A fear of bananas and coffee machines in the middle of the night
- IMing your boyfriend/girlfriend at 12:00 at night and having a buzz fight with buzzes that meow.
- Always having to say rawr
- Drawing many different smiley faces when you could just type them. -_^ ,^^ ,:3
- Feeling the need to eat, eat, eat during winter so you can hibernate.
- Screaming out "I have the black plague! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-O-O-O-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-t
- A sudden craving for jelly beans, hot cocoa and human flesh.
- Having two X-mases and a crazy Grandmother
- Makeing the speaker make creepy noises with your cell phone and or mind bullets
- A need for speed
- Disco dancing to metalica or when there's no music
- Writing a bazillion symptoms about yourself thinking you have the black plague and that there are others out there like you that will read this and understand your feeling when, in fact, you are just a lonely computer geek with nothing better to do with your time.
- Reading up to this point.
CAUSES[edit | edit source]
- being around me
- Having a bit too much sugar
- Having a sugar hang over
- Stealing stuff on video games and running away screaming "Ruu-hu-hu-hun awaaaaaa-aaaaaay!"
- Not knowing what the thing is under the water and not caring to find out.
- Being killed by snail things (kwama foreger) on a video game.
- Wanting to find out what the thing under the water is
- Deciding to go back to sleep instead
- Getting bit,or eaten by a pineapple.
CURES[edit | edit source]
- Take a 5 second shower in yer socks
- Make a chicken-pot-pie and then burn yourself. Scream, "God damn it!" and then throw it at the wall.
- Stop playing video games
- Play more video games
- Die while playing video games
- Get 19 piercings on your face and 87 more lower than your waist and higher than your knees
- Eat some Fritos
- Get superpowers (eat lots of funions, then pez)
- Get some Niquil and Red Bull
- Play WOW for 6 hours straight and then go out and dress like a fag screaming "I am [yourwowname] queen of Booty Bay! Bow down to my sexyness!
- Write a whole Illoicopedia article on what is wrong with you and title the Black Plague.
- Go pet an alien kitty
- Kill a goldfish
- Huggle a fat guy who calls you his sister even though you is unrelated (by at least 2 generations)
- Save your video game
- Drink from a pink cup.
- Clip a neon green streak into your hair