Chicken Force

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Mutually repugnant chickens account for 2 percent of all the matter in the universe. Therefore, bagels.

The Chicken force was first discovered by a bartender in Lancashire named Fig McBingforeknowledge during the Tory revolts of 1815. While his pub burned all about him, Fig poured every kind of rum he had (92) into a vat with 2 chickens and blended with ice until smooth and frothy.


“It's not a beverage for the still-sober.”

~ Ricky Gervais on the Chicken Daiquiri


Of greatest value and most coveted by Burgermeisters were itchy chickens, until the invention of the cyclotron. In 1958, G. Gordon Liddy discovered the particle which induces a Higgs field to squeeze out chickeny energy in a Northerly orientation, irregardless of pedal-depressed, panchromatic resonance.

When dogs discovered that they had been the victims of a vicious breeding program propagated by errant humans in the year 2977, there was a predictable uprising and consequent rending of flesh and outrageous claims by both sides in the conflict. Chicken force-based weaponry was used with abandon, only halting when the poultry delivery services went on strike.

See Also[edit]


Fundamental Forces
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ElectromagnetismStrong ForceWeak ForceGravityWeek ForceChicken Force

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