Clock of a birthday

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Blibbity blobbity singidy songidy happy birthdayed to youd. Wished my clock a happy birthday when he turned 1,0o0. (sniff) I (sniffs again) just wish...

Why do I keep sniffing, where am I, and... who are you? Why am I even writing this article? Wha... WHAT??? what is going on here? I'm gonna leave.