Common Misconceptions

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Common Misconceptions flow out of grandmothers' mouths constantly and, like most other things your grandma tells you, are full of crap. Grab a nearby plunger and look out for overflows.

  • "If you watch too much TV, your eyes'll turn square!" - Next time your Amish grandma tells you this, slap her in the face. It actually turns your eyes into a slight bean shape.  [Check.gifCertified Accurate!]
  • "The grass is always greener on the other side!" - Not if the neighbor's lawn is dead, dumbass. Don't trust anyone who says this.
  • "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." - When was the last time you met a doctor with Mackaphobia? Never.
  • "You'll go blind if you masturbate too much!" - Good one, Granny. It just so happens that I'm not blind.
  • "Writing on Illogicopedia improves brain health." No comment.