Cosmic departure terminal

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0. here,

How very [1] quaint! ;-) .

Hath he not heard of ? So, you think "Time" goes that way, do you? Here's how some of the kit works: [2]

Check out inflation (and c. 57th significant bit of alpha if possible) for momentary transients (Hick! [3]) on occasion since 23h59 27 December 2003 GMT, Prof. - then mail me SVP.

Approaching midnight, still killing time...

Update on Today[edit | edit source]

I am mostly poker faced: 74%, cough[4]? Must try harder ;-) Ooh, 96% - easier if the focus is on "what's the 4%?", as it can be seen, me thinks. Can you tell what it is yet?

(Talk[5] about fiddling while[6] Rome burns, killing the messenger and other trite clichés...)

It's[7] being suggested some of this should be spun out onto the talk page. When? Your thoughts?

The below may really spoil your day; it contains ideas which are considered controversial. Well, good[8].[edit | edit source]

What: Building a better mousetrap, improving door, path.
Why: To generate debate, rather than poke your eye out with "this is how it all works & anyone disagreeing with xyzzy is wrong".
How: Read the below and make up your own mind ..
Who: 0.
Where: The whole ing shebang.
Prerequisite: Being : Read the next couple of sections to assert you have same and show feelings of an almost human nature.
Suggested warm-up: PoohSticks.

Blasphemers and Fornicators Shall Feel the Wrath of The One True God[edit | edit source]

Verily Kneel Down Followers of False Prophets, For The [9] Holy Goats Of The One True God The King Of Kings [10] Who Cometh Soon Shall Seek Vengeance And Wreck Havoc On You And Your Family and Place You In Hell Eternal..

With Quite A Lot Of This Kind Of Thing Going On.


A. Nuss Lug
Irrel Ephant Institution
p.p., God, For I Know Him So Well. He Spoke to Me, He Did [11]. So Do What I Say Else I Shall Pray For Your Soul To Be Damned Eternal.
P.S., Since I Have All The Cash and A Big Gun, I'll Use Those As Leverage Too.

9 March 2007, 13h19ish.[edit | edit source]

Howdy Doodee,

Just finishing this baby - seems to me a lot of this kind of thing going on now[12].

You sort the post; I'll Bob about in the mean time, not Whistling Dixie but summit along these [13] lines [14], LOL[15].

A letter from our correspondent has flooded in Dave's Part writes,

"Once again, the agenda of this country's so-called "ruling" regime fails to acknowledge the Gravity of the current Nightmare about to unfold.

Today, the Republic of Pimlico Bonzo Dog Infinity Party (Neasden, Cheam, Tooting and Harrow Branches) "Power To The People" Manifesto promises we shall stand fast on the far Left... umm, Right? Political centre...? No. No.

North. Yes, North.

Today, the R. of Pimlico BDIP(NCT&HB)PTTP Manifesto says we shall stand fast on the far North of the so-called big girls blouse centre-left-right so-called governmint ruling classes and calls on all so-called power mungers to right wrongs:

  1. Economic Inequality (shelves Evian-less, flat bread instead of fruit cake, insanitary bogs, one book between two, etc.)
  2. Global Warming
  3. Jade Goody
  4. Err...
  5. That's it.

Sickening... totally sickening... worse than Sump Digger, Khan, Live Long and Prosper; Cracking Cheese, Grommet... etc., etc.

(Anyone got any decent retreads? Mine down to the canvas.)"

[ Who wrote this crap? -ed. ] [ Yes, well Who(0.), not Who(9..10)! -dave ]

Physics 101 collides with Computer Science and AI, proposal[edit | edit source]

I fart[16][17] in your general direction this:

  1. NO DIFFERENCE between them.) A "thought" joining two equal "concepts" perhaps.
  2. mutex when forming electron shells around atoms. Probablistic, non-deterministic.
  3. spin locks to prevent universes colliding. Implements sequential access to the atomic nucleus.
  4. extend and alter the model in response to external events (photons) - I can "learn" - and hence change my interpretation of the external events. This is my universe per (A), and may be entirely different from your universe, though we share a common external universe (B) (or in a way.
  5. NFs: Travelling Salesman (soln. publication pending suitable grammar).
  6. compiler optimization of the Atom's interpreter (nucleus).
  7. Dark Matter/Energy, String Theory.

A photon is actually a universe observably going "forward" in time per C and a non-observable universe going "backward" in time per C.

'Cos the definition of Time is fucked-up (blame Newton), "forward" going VPs are required for the backward-going universe (e.g., a Neutrino could be the reflection of the photons in the time-reversed universe - the universe on the flip side of the paper - the universe a "forward facing" observer fails to see due to what should be extreme blue-shift.)

If "observable" C (vs. photon "velocity" C) were >=twice what it is in (B) we'd see those "ack" photons "cross" the "outgoing" photons in (B). Of course, we'd have to be observing this from another universe (D). Sooo, what's the Dark stuff now?

Universes can be nested to any depth; think onions and wormholes, but don't recurse too deep on your first goes: HC SVNT DRACONES!

There is no need for >1 electron per universe. But that really does blow your mind: Think program counter in a simple CPU with one ALU, vs. massively multithreaded system -> timeslicing. I smell burning, LOL... ;-)

Consequences[edit | edit source]

Mass due to gravity and mass due to inertia are measurably different in certain circumstances, as any fule kno [18].

2^0.=0., therefore P=NP

By extension O(0.)=O(n) where O(0.) tends towards 0 for all n.


A Riddle For Ye[edit | edit source]

  1. En route to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives,
  2. "2G0 = 1536 ?", say he.
  3. "I'm stuck so please help me!"
  4. I with the man share without delay, "0.",
  5. "Shall we continue on our way?"
  6. On the way back from St. Ives, I met a man without seven wives.

So, Grasshopper, answer these questions three:

  • Where am I?
  • What can be found at St. Ives?
  • The man with seven wives - what's his name?

Clue to Q3: Flip the Fuzzy-Wuzzy Butcher's question to Mrs Slocombe's sad boy pet, an octave or so up. (I feel some mistake has been made today, Ron L. Cupboard )-:


  • To escape a wholly deterministic universe, RTFM.
  • Always check Signal to Wave Ratios.
  • This[2] might expedite a solution.

Hello, I'm looking to learn...[edit | edit source]

Learning Top Tips:

  1. Don't Panic!
  2. Look Out!
  3. Prepare for criticism;
  4. The going may be tougher than thought - drop all anger and drop all thoughts of invincibility;
  5. Drop un-triangulated preconceptions;
  6. Shake hands;
  7. Listen;
  9. Talk;
  10. THINK! and REMEMBER!
  12. Read between lines if necessary, but avoid duplicity.
  13. If above fails, remove head from arse and try again.
  14. exception_handler(0.) { Call for HELP! && Give a Little Whistle! }


  • Keep things real - for example the infinitely small size - this may be good for some things, but you probably don't want to "be there", as it were. Cartoon stuff is great in cartoons, but being embedded in a cliff face (movable tunnel entrance) or hitting a valley floor (unacknowledged run off end of cliff) hurts like f*ck, probably ;-) . Breaking the interesting - anyone got results, LOL?
  • Forget weapons, especially explosive, "disintegration" or "magic ray" types (no guns, mines, mortars and certainly no bombs), unless YOU want to pick up the pieces and put them back together. Jousting (like fencing or paintball) is more fun anyhow, since you won't be picking up splattered brains. Assault is out unless you'd like les rozzers to feel yer collar. I guess combat sport, like boxing, etc., is ok, so long as you're aware of possible consequences. And no nailing silly buggers to crosses, phlease ;-)

Really finally:

  • It's your Universe - do with it as you will. But, remember where you came from!


nano-nano, [insert other bollocks here],

-matt Also sprach Zarathustra

So, you're now up to convenience, since there have been objections to having this on a page on its own, I've copied the article below:[edit | edit source]

The Longest Possible Story is a non-repeating path through all possible events in a Universe per the observation extends the story and changes the outcome. However, over a suitable set of events to this point, outcomes[19] can be predicted with reasonable certainties.

  1. Solving the point singularity.
    Occam's razor should be used with a pinch of salt (paint with a continuum of colours, not just binary black and white) - my preferred interpretation is "It is vain to do with more that which can be done with less", so a little vanity seems ok, a lot seems not. Applying probabilistic weightings to notions connection events helps here (in fact, it's unavoidable - you do have a brain, right? ;-)

The Longest Possible Story, a non-canonical example[edit | edit source]

  1. In the beginning, again, it didn't matter whether there was something or 0.;
  2. 0., in particular, remembered 0.;
  3. By logical extension, 0. remembered something;
  4. "I think therefore I am", declared 0.;
  5. 0. observed something and declared it not good and so defined a pattern in Chaos?Chaos¹;
  6. 0. extended the pattern against Chaos¹' resistance;
  7. Some other things got defined from Chaos¹, in particular the local notion of "Time"?Chaos²;
  8. 0. determined by logical extension of observing Chaos² the previous story iteration;
  9. Eventually, some stuff[3][4][5][6][7] on the subject got written - 0. observed the contents and noted lessons therein;
  10. 0. did some stuff, in particular expanded Chaos³;
  11. 0. did more stuff against Chaos²³; Chaos²³ had a day off;
  12. While Chaos²³ was still in bed, 0. posted the The Longest Possible Story into Wikipedia;
  13. 0. went off to Eden[20] for a little light luncheon with wife and kids;
  14. 0. Eden was closed. Went Italian instead.
  15. 0.'s thoughts turned to et al & reminded self to say Choose Your Own Poison to others;
  16. And 0. remembered the original motivation in 1985;
  17. 0. feels sick and so to bed;
  18. 0. carries on with a "normal" life, while playing with Choas¹²³->Chaos8->some kind of reasonable order WRT local coward again deletes this article and the story is dropped back into Chaos;
  19. The exception_handler(0.) re-inserted the story back into Wikipedia, alerts 0. and went back to its bed.

References[edit | edit source]

  1. Shows atoms, electrons and photons interacting per above.
  2. Noggin emulates universal Turing machine.
  3. "Bible." Wikipedia.
  4. "Basmala." Wikipedia.
  5. "Alice in Wonderland." Wikipedia.
  6. "The Origin of Species." Wikipedia.
  7. Maze of Twisty Passages