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Ducks are born of humans, usually.

A duck is a bird of the highest Master's Degree. They often rule over kingdoms and stuff like that. You know, because they're birds of the highest Master's should have crowns and stuff. And butlers. Teddy bear butlers. Because teddy bear butlers are the best kind of butlers. Except for monkey butlers of course. It is also a waterfowl which quacks and lives in a pond and is not racist or sexist.

Ducks can go on the moon. It is unknown if duck salad is made for ducks, or of ducks.

DuckTales[edit | edit source]

DuckTales was a documentary produced between 1987 and 1990 by Walt Duckney Megalocorp, in which several startling aspects of ducks were revealed and analyzed.

A history of ducks[edit | edit source]

Once upon a time, in a far off land, there lived a mango. It had a crown. A duck came upon the mango.

The mango fell and rolled away.

The duck then took its rightful place as king of the...trees.

The mango trees.

Also read this boring yet illogical...CONTRARY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There once was a lady named Zuka Duka Wawa, who drove a spaceship, her pet elephant hated ducks, and she had orinthophobia, fear of birds, including ducks. Mrs. Wawa had 2 million children and 5 trillion Webkinz.

One day a strange tornado hit her street. The strange part was that it didn't do anything but move along. But what it did do, is throw talking ducks all over the city! "Who the duck? Who the duck? Who the duck?" they all said making a chaotic "Who the duck?" storm. Then they yelled in unison "YOU THE DUCK!". "Now, people no more duck yelling" said a random woman "Wait, d-d-d-d-d-DUUUUUUUUUUUUCKSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!"

Of course Mrs. Wawa screamed like nuts. She would fly herself to Canada if the airport wasn't crowded with ducks. So she herded her elephant outside to play Whack-A-Duck. After the ducks where squished the road was duck-print even in 2840.

"Ere, what happened to you?"
"I fell in a pot of brown paint."
"Oh right. I thought for a minute there you'd rotted away or something."

Ducks today[edit | edit source]

As with most political figures, ducks have been mocked and ridiculed unfairly. They are protrayed as clumsy, greedy, and silly. Of course, we all know that that's all untrue. We must hunt the duck-haters. HUNT THEM!

Facts about ducks[edit | edit source]

  • Ducks are moist. They can be sucked...
  • Ducks are coated in oil.
  • Ducks have only one leg while they sleep.
  • Ducks... .
  • Duck dicks are up to a number of metres long but the amount has been forgotten -- it is real, nonetheless.
  • Ducks look like o< o< o< O<.
  • Ducks are spherical.
  • Ducks contain water. But also, water contains ducks.
  • Ducks don't go to school.
  • Ducks sit in the shower, on a shower shelf, in threes.
  • Ducks can exist as hands.
  • Ducks are having a blast.
  • Ducks make everything better.
  • Ducks park their heads backwards when sleeping.
  • Ducks' tears distort the water of their spaceponds.
  • Ducks are violent rapists (but not racists).
  • A duck is like a crowbar.
  • Ducks have 6-inch fangs.
  • Ducks can be conveniently stacked and stored in boxes.
  • A duck is a small craft designed to carry one or more people across a river or lake.

Llama llama llama llama llama llama DUCK![edit | edit source]

I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake! Time for me to retire now, and become a DUCK!

END OF SONG SO SHUT UP NOW[edit | edit source]

...wait. Cake and duck don't rhyme.

See also[edit | edit source]