Furnace

Feed me your soul!

A furnace is a device used to make milkshakes.

History and usage

Invented in 1972 by Franz Cinderblock, a furnace is used to mix orange juice and gasoline together in order to form a milkshake. The milkshake can then be sold to a lumberjack in exchange for burritos and pancakes.

Furnaces can also be used to travel back in time, solve murder mysteries, raise the dead, turn water into wine, and control the weather. But most importantly, they can be used to make milkshakes.

Safety tips

• Do not attempt to perform sexual intercourse on a furnace.

Fun facts

• A furnace can explode and kill you if you make it mad.

• Furnaces are made entirely of rain gutters.

• Furnace spelled backwards is gingivitis.