An African blowtorch slid up a molten pole. This caused a hummingbird to tit nectar into an orchid. This caused the orchid to stipulate. and thus concludes evolution.
Kalr, a master of tubular flowers sent his whore to collect bread for peasants. "A faster way would be to attach spores to elevators and pollinate them", he thought. So later that day, he buggered a rough skinned newt and produced a thorn tree. With this thorn tree, Kalr heated dawn peroxide by the light of his wife's eye and rustled up a vegetable mitosis.