George Lucas
George Lucas (born Lucas George) is most notable for his work on the Broadway production of Fart Wars, a play about I guy named Hand and his kickass guitar solo. He also made the Star Wars franchise, which was relevant in that it had no cultural impact whatsoever and absolutely no one saw it. Not even me. What is it about?
Fart Wars[edit | edit source]
Production for Fart Wars began in the summer of '69 with pop singer Bryan Adams playing every role, Eddie Murphy-style. Producers quickly realized that such a feat was impossible to pull off in a live production, so they recast the parts to be played by every actor who auditioned to be an Oompa Loompa in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory but was deemed too tall. Most of the story of Fart Wars didn't really make sense with every character being an incredibly short male, but in fairness to the Oompa Loompa rejects, the story didn't make sense in the first place.
Star Wars[edit | edit source]
Often considered a ripoff of Fart Wars, Lucas's next endeavor was a series of films entitled Star Wars. Star Wars starred Sandra Bullock as a plucky journalist who claimed to be over looking for love but was still holding out hope for falling in love. Her co-star, Wu Tang Clan member Inspectah Deck, was called by critics, "The only bright spot in the film." Today, only Taiwanese bootleggers have copies of the famously bad flop, and all clips have been removed from YouTube due to plain embarrassment.
Hindiana Jones[edit | edit source]
He and Inspectah Deck teamed up for another film after the rubble of Star Wars cleared entitled "Hindiana Jones." The desired title was "Indiana Jones," but studio executives insisted that they had to start appealing to the Indian community, and pun titles were the best way to do this, never mind that the lead actor was an African-American musician. The movie was co-produced by Lucas's AA Sponsor, Stefon Spellman, who had just finished doing some work for the studio's I.T. department. The film was a tremendous success among New Dehlians, but film-watchers the world over have yet to see it. Most fans claim their favorite part was when Deck's Wu-Tang brother GZA made a cameo as a rolling boulder.
Beard[edit | edit source]
George Lucas's beard has been subject to many debates, such as the 2012 Vice Presidential Debate between Joe Biden and Paul Ryan. No agreement could be made as to whether or not it makes him look like a washed-up artist or artsy grandpa.