Gold Chess Piece

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The gold chess piece is guaranteed to beat anyone at chess. And draughts.

“Damn GIs.”

~ Humphrey Bogart on Gold Chess Piece

The gold chess piece, created in 1964, was designed to beat any game at chess, with it's laser powers and atomic force fields, not even the fastest computers can compute a move that speaks out against the gold chess piece. The most famous conflict GCP took part in was Vietnam, where he took one of the two bullets for John Kerry, the bullet which was aiming for Kerry's head. When GCP heard Kerry received a purple heart for surviving the incident, GCP promptly gave Kerry a purple eye soon after.

Life began to be hard for GCP after the 60s, being stolen by suspicious masked man and then being dug up by a dog called (Blocked by Witness Protection FBI). Then, in 1993, GCP was melted down and turned into a super mega destruktor thing that was used by Saddam Hussein to blow up the Kuwait oil wells. A maniac attempted to used GCP to typically blow London to bits only two years later but was stopped by actor, Sean Connery.

War Life

The gold chess piece has joined up for the army at many wars, but none as memorable as the World Chess Championship at Moscow in 1992. On the 4th July, GCP led his squadron to battle against the Austerity when a shootout occurred after GCP's Bishop checkmated the Austerity Queen at Varyboardski. The fight lasted for four hours, and when the battle was nearing its end, GCP made some loud clicking noises and then promptly shot the unguarded Austerity force. The victory was at the expense of his squadron and only he and the Silver Horse was left remaining. The Silver Horse vowed to kill GCP in cold blood because he believes it was GCP's fault that all his friends are dead.

The Battle of Varyboardski is remembered, as a total of 3.4 million civilians died (the two sides often got bored). A message is left at Treblinka, 'Remember.' Wait that's something else.

Quotes

“Ouch!”

~ Gold Chess Piece on being hit by a bullet in the arm

“Look, a duck!”

~ In progress of an escape plan

“All your chess board are belong to us”

~ Gold Chess Piece on psyching out your mom

Good Against

Gold chess piece (far left) with his squadron from the World Chess Championship Moscow '92. None of them came back alive, except GCP himself and the Silver Horse of whom has held a grudge against GCP for the loss of their friends in the unit.

• Prawns
• Porn
• HM, Queen Elizabeth II
• Bishops
• Shrimps
• Burger King
• Horses
• Castle towers
• Dustbin lids
• In fact anything discular and simlar to a draughts piece
• Black or white squares
• The French
• MTV

Bad Against

• Queens
• Bishops
• Horses
• Castle Towers
• Rocks
• Machine Guns
• McDonalds
• Your Mom
• MTV2
• King Kong
• Grues