Hard drive

The author of this article would like you to know he can complete each and every one of the drives identified forthwith as he is a driving god. He also wants to draw your attention to Hard disk, for a similarly named compooter peripheral.

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Those zebra crossings are permanently on "walk", but do you think I care? Well I do not, for I am a driving god.

Hard drives are to be found on roads all over the world. They are the polar opposite of easy drives, which can be purchased from reputable wholesalers completed in a tenth of a lunchtime by the most inexperienced of drivers.

Classification

The difficulty level of particular drives can be ascertained by the level of distraction associated. The following table outlines the points system applied by the HDAA (Hard Drive Ascertation Association).

Description	Points allocation	Extra
Roadside signs	5 points per sign crashed into	Extra 10 points if it is a stop sign
Traffic lights	8 points per red light ran	If being pursued by police, 32 points
Ford Focuses	21 points per Ford Focus wasted	1 point deducted if it is in fact a new model Fiesta
Bollards	1 point each bollard flattened	Combo opportunity: 4 points extra per bollard collided, 10 points extra for full set

Follow the above table, pick a route and who knows, you too could be a Hard driver.

Hard drives

• Orpington to London, 13 miles
• Norway to Germany, 24 and some miles
• Antarctica to Easter Island. Requires 6,000,000 foot tall tyres
• Birmingham to Birmingham, 3,000,001 miles (according to Google Maps)

See also

• I am a driving god