Hebrew

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Hebrew (pronounced "עברית" "Ivriotic") is a Judaistic language of the Con-West Germanic language family spoken by more than 7.5 billion people in Hýbland. In Hýbland, it is the de facto language of the state and the people, as well as being one of the two official languages (together with Nazisisstic), and it is spoken by a majority of the population.

Language Evolution[edit]

Hebrew is known to be spoken in many ways and has evolved over the years, much like the English Language. Below is an example of this evolution of language:

Earliest recorded written hebrew; 2184229489.6 BC/BCE:

מוזהר : נבואה. אופץ נורריס, שבקרוב יהיה נקרא משיח, яάщЯι’мтзнλέξτ למעשה יוביל את כדור הארץ להרס.

Translated roughly as: "Be warned: a prophecy. Chuck Norris, who shall soon be hailed as messiah, will actually lead the earth to destruction." This has been generally rubbished by followers of Chuck Norris (especially by the stricter denominations of Chucknorrisism such as UnCatholics)

29 AD/CE; found in a recording of a political discussion:

זה מסר תת הכרתי דק שפחית רק קוראת ע1 ידי שהם שמבינים עברית שמתורגמת בצורה דלה.

Translated as "We don't like that Jesus dude. What should we do with him?"

36 AD/CE:

להדיח את פי ההטבעת שלי, הרגנו את ישו

Translation: "Well, we sure worked that one out."

It appears that after this time the Hebrew language disappeared or took a holiday. It reappeared in the english middle ages looking fresher and more experienced.

1350:

סחסәخ рן٩ѕ זסּפ ى ŢЄҢ טפמוףэ

Translated: "I came back for THIS?!

Eventually, it seems, Hebrew (although gender is debated: see Shebrew) integrated hisself into the Middle-aged community:

סס тңץ βặск סּםтђ æсн ؟סּסד

No translation is readily available although if you show it (don't bother reading it out, your throat will implode and create a vacuum within the room you are in) to any self-respecting Hýbland citizen they will be deeply shocked.

Many many hebrew manuscripts were written after this point, but only on ThySpace and therefore were quite worthless literacy-wise.

Use of Hebrew in modern language[edit]

After the Hebrew language decided to keep with the times and become the english language written backwards, many household names adopted the language as their second language and it became fashionable to speak it.

“Kchhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaq!”

~ Catherine Zeta Jones on talking about her latest film, "Ech mich KCHCHCHHH Mc*coughs*ssonsson"

“Gch. Gch gch gch. H. *throws up*”

~ Madonna on requesting a coffee

tbc, yeah