Hobbies

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Hello? Hobby World? I need a new hobby.

Types of hobbies[edit | edit source]

Usually people undertake hobbies for enjoyment purposes, though on some occasions they are pursued for monetary benefit. Those who do so are often called professionals. Without the added financial benefit and twenty pound extortion fee, you wouldn't be considered a professional even if you worked with trains.

Model building[edit | edit source]

Building models is significantly different to building buildings – often a lot more glue and less severe head trauma is involved.

Sculpting[edit | edit source]

It gets everywhere and that's why people enjoy it so much. Pottery is particularly enjoyable because it spins around and you can throw chunks of clay at people without having to worry so much about fixing up your cheese fondue pot. Balloon animal sculpting could also qualify under this category, but I should've just gotten a tiara because the person making them right now is extremely paranoid and thinks everything I mention is out to get him. Does that include the tiara?

Trains[edit | edit source]

Eventually Subbuteo had the train, and then, of course, the aeroplane. Shortly after the plane came the innovation of the dillymobile but it had been considered defunct once the Queen was tossed aside (onto a bus, never to return again).

Trainspotters are commonly found wearing anoraks and/or trenchcoats and screaming "YOU THERE!" to other passengers whilst carrying a bouquet of those take-away crêpe cones. Usually they will insist on interrogating you and upon finding no reasonably suspicious evidence will thoroughly check your bags for any of the latest novel releases. Or your Opal card, that works just fine too.

It's an eye for an eye, not an eye for a bag of persimmons!

Puppetry[edit | edit source]

Ark ark, puppets belong in the grocery section with their faithful brothers, the eggplants and lettuce. I'm scared.

Magic tricks[edit | edit source]

Oh, so that's where I put that annoying undergrad college student! He was in that tiny cupboard all along!

How'd ya know?

I could smell the faint aroma of pizza as well as a months' worth of mouldy tuna sandwiches and gym socks.