Hobos and you
Hello, I would like to describe to you the differences between the poor hobo countries (Where we the crap people come from) and those rich asses. I will tell you the difference of my place, to modern day Ohio, Yes!
You see, the richest man in our village earn an about 37 cents a year! That equivalent to about 2 yen! Me though, I earn money by stealing the public toilets and selling them. It is a good living yes! It earns me a good living yes, my best buyer waz our local asshole Fernando, his ass so big even birds get lost in it. I know! I got lost in there too! But other than his ass size of Godzilla on steroids, he is very rich! He actually gave me 0.5 cents, is good!
How we communicate
In our village the best phone you can buy is a 1922 Nokia brick. Only I have phone in my village! My mother buy me when I waz kid, it only cost me college fund. My village cannot afford post office, but it no matter! The best paper we have is dark stone slab and our pencil is made from pens, all so cheap, only 23 cents! I ask our supplier why we have so many pens for great price, he say because they don’t have ink! But we smart! Even though they have no ink we always ask for 50% discount, he always gives! But is goooooood!
Where I come from the nicest car you buy is chair with wheels, we always buy 25 litres of gasoline for any trips but we never know where to put it, when we ask, gas man just say “Buy now and 37% off”! We so stupid! We now realize that you don’t need gas! You keep it in house ready for bonfire day! We so smart Yes! After our top scientist Hoboman graduate from law school he tell us that all along what we use for gas waz only Flintstone power! We waz shocked, that idiot even more asshole than Fernando, after speech we run with table-forks and torches screaming “Shun the Heretic!”
Farming and cultivation
We first buy farm for to investment in growing money trees but all trees only grow to become acorn trees. We should have order better seeds! We then ask our new local hobo Hoboman why trees not grow money, he say because we don’t water enough! So we spend our village funds on water but after we order we forget where to keep! And dry season made all our livestock drink all water, those assholes, we then run screaming and turn them into deadstock! After learning that money only grow on bushes we stop all farming, I guess that all our village is for to making meat! Yes!
Housing and land
We all so poor we live on streets. The end, Yes!
Oh yeah! I read just now my village’s average test score sky-rocket from -122% all the way to -333%, see how big number become! Yes! We rule! Where I come from all students in school get scholarship to mental institute! You see how smart we is! Our kindergarten kids all have their own gun now! In outdoor education we always practice shooting at bastard teacher, Yes! Is fun! In English our students always pass with grade Super F-! F for FABULOUS!!!! School food now gives Black Death only to 102% students and faculty!