HowTo:Have a middle school relationship

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This article is just one of many
from the depths of Illogicopedia's Mass Cheese Reserves.

See more guides at WikiHowl.

“I think this upcoming HowTo for Martians is repulsive! This activity is awful! What happened to charity work? I think this page is an abomination and I don't know why my quote isn't on it. (darn liberals)

Hey Martians, don't let right-wing pundits discourage you! The activity this HowTo may be illegal on other planets due to the RIAA, but on Mars it was made legal by Roy Orbison. In fact, I even forgot this HowTo is supposed to be uneducating you about. So, here are the ingredients you may need.



An ambitious Martian middle schooler, are ye? You want to catch Mewtwo in Canada and have a relationship? Well, you're at the wrong place, since this is Conservapedia. Anyway, here is an educated guess at a HowTo. You need WikiHow, not Conservapedia.

  1. Dress sensibly: Wear 5668879987765 articles of clothing, this will attract the opposite gender by triggering the Fibulator Gland.
  2. No flirtations: Well, that is not acceptable since Hershey already patented that.
  3. Go on a game show: Win some money for 300 dozen roses or a Pokemon game.
  4. Present your gift: Watch them teleport themselves to Pluto for this.
  5. Ask them out at Pluto: Well, use your Conservapedia talk page.
  6. Nag: Nagging is good for a healthy heart.
  7. Break up: This will continue your relationship.

Now you know more than me. Thank you for this paycheck for advice and enjoy your stay at the Conservapedia Hotel.