HowTo:Have a middle school relationship
“I think this upcoming HowTo for Martians is repulsive! This activity is awful! What happened to charity work? I think this page is an abomination and I don't know why my quote isn't on it.
Hey Martians, don't let right-wing pundits discourage you! The activity this HowTo may be illegal on other planets due to the RIAA, but on Mars it was made legal by Roy Orbison. In fact, I even forgot this HowTo is supposed to be uneducating you about. So, here are the ingredients you may need.
- 300 dozen roses or a Pokemon game
- Uncle Pete's satirical blessing
- A person of non-affection
- a bag of fladdies
- Howie Mandel's bald head
- A PhD
An ambitious Martian middle schooler, are ye? You want to catch Mewtwo in Canada and have a relationship? Well, you're at the wrong place, since this is Conservapedia. Anyway, here is an educated guess at a HowTo.
You need WikiHow, not Conservapedia.
- Dress sensibly: Wear 5668879987765 articles of clothing, this will attract the opposite gender by triggering the Fibulator Gland.
- No flirtations: Well, that is not acceptable since Hershey already patented that.
- Go on a game show: Win some money for 300 dozen roses or a Pokemon game.
- Present your gift: Watch them teleport themselves to Pluto for this.
- Ask them out at Pluto: Well, use your Conservapedia talk page.
- Nag: Nagging is good for a healthy heart.
- Break up: This will continue your relationship.
Now you know more than me. Thank you for this paycheck for advice and enjoy your stay at the Conservapedia Hotel.