I mash my keyboard

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The good folks at Wikia seem to know a lot about keyboard mashing as well. Wait...

"I mash my keyboard" is generally the excuse a lot of new users and/or vandals seem to use when entering the slightly dilapidated gates of Illogicopedia — rather loosely interpreting the concept of creating 'content' and vastly abusing the write before you think notion.

Despite it being a somewhat interesting spectacle to behold, things start to get really exciting when you start to anticipate where they'll go to from here. Perhaps they'll actually begin to write interesting and absurd articles, or they'll continue their relentless keyboard-mashing ways (whilst likely not knowing how to use a talk page) and ultimately be banhammered into the depths of oblivion. However, there are some who choose to take the in-between path, writing articles which consist of proper language yet still never seem to escape the confines of a few sentences at most.

Where do we go from here? Oh dear, where does it end?[edit]

The conundrum of the keyboard-masher has transfigured into a multitude of outcomes:

The aforementioned[edit]

The user will write articles which are unbelievably short and often lacking in images. After being confronted by another user regarding the issue, they may delve into collaboration territory (or simply article-jacking) and write a couple of reasonably-sized morsels, but will probably eventually revert back to writing what they believe are one-line wonders (which you can only have so many of).

Solution: chuck everything in the stub pile, or possibly in the trash. Nobody wants to see your collection of dirt anyway. I admire your collection of socks, though. Have they all got different fragrances? Hey, I didn't say they were good fragrances.

The vanitiser[edit]

They might start to write some feature-lengths, but it'll probably be about themselves or some fancy alter-ego they've just made up. Seems alright to do a couple times here and there, but after a few goes in succession you find yourself cringing into the next dimension.

Solution: grin and bear it — it'll probably be over after a while anyway. If worse comes to worse, bring the matter up on IllogiNews and see if their ego becomes bruised enough to not be constantly whacking you over the face with an overgrown celery stick.

The semi-vandilicious trickster[edit]

Now, if you think about it, they're not technically vandalising. But they're sure as heck doing a lot of image spamming and using THE SAME PHRASE IN ALL CAPS IN VARIOUS DIFFERENT PLACES (*shudders* I was a poor, poor soul once) which is becoming a forced meme done very, very wrong.

Solution: none of this is really breaking any rules, so there's not much you can do about it anyway. This is the end, my only friend, the end...