IllogiBooks:The U.S. History You Never Learned in School/Mayflower
One has to ask: who was actually aboard the Mayflower? Since boats were still not popular in this era, they had to ride a huge flower to America in May. Some "historians" think it was exclusively the Pilgrims on the flower, but evidence has shown that there was a group called the Blue Collar Group on board as well as the United Hobo Cult on board also.
The TRUE Story on the Mayflower[edit | edit source]
The British did send the Pilgrims to the Americas for religious freedom.[1] The Hobos were sent since Britain ran out of beans since Asia was right out of beans [2] The BCG was looking for new collars. No death occured, plenty of food was there, and sickness was virtually nonexistant, contrary to popular belief.
Indians[edit | edit source]
Well, they were eaten, as with Columbus' days and such. 'Nuff said.
The REAL Thanksgiving Story[edit | edit source]
The 34 Indians not eaten were thankful they were not. So, they decided to share their food with the Pilgrims and the UHC. The BCG was not invited; they were mean back then. So they ate for 6565665 days and never threw up after nonstop eating after this, though they seemed to have considerable weight gain. So, after the holiday, 32 Indians were eaten and the last 2 were saved in ice so they could populate the U.S.' future Indian reservations.
Guided Practice Questions[edit | edit source]
- 1. Who boarded the Mayflower?
- 2. What was the Mayflower?
- 3. What did I have for breakfast?
Answers[edit | edit source]
- 1. Jon Stewart
- 2. A toilet
- 3. Vending machine