IllogiNews:Bowser Defeats Mario

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MUSHROOM KINGDOM, Mars, June 6, 234343

A plumber named Mario has been reported dead today by the Mushroom Kingdom Obituary Police. He was killed by his adversary Bowser by a blaster ray from his alien friends. President Toadsworth and Princess Peach have nothing to say, but Japanese Emperor Hasawachi Mahnhot Medel Vilachini said the following "Nintender will miss the fellow". Brother Luigi is happy since he now possesses a dollar. Anyway, nobody cares about this story and Bowser is a rich capitalist. Whooptey doo!

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