IllogiNews:Ketchup Banned In United States

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

Ketchup was banned in the United States today after trace amounts of tomato products were found in bottles of several popular brands.

No ketchup for you!

Until now, most ketchup has been made of syrup, jizz, baby brains, bugs, feces, and trout. It is unclear how the tomatoes made there way into the ketchup.

For years, the Food and Drug Administration has tried its best to keep anything natural or organic out of the country's diet, replacing apples with twinkies, sugar with high fructose corn syrup, broccoli with Big Macs, etc.

Several sources report that the U.S. may try to sue ketchup makers for negligence.