IllogiNews:US Exploding food advisory

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This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

Like cartoonish Joe Camel pushing cigarettes to kids, these cretins encourage American youth to bulk up on exploding food.

The United States Surgeon General released a statement today advising Americans to reduce their average intake of exploding food. Dr. Elke Sommer, the chief medical officer for the country, announced that after an exhaustive 17 year, 86 billion dollar study, there is some evidence that overcomsumption of pyrotechnic foodstuffs can have an adverse effect on human biology.

The exploding food industry is financed by the same group that brought Boston to its knees in 2002, erecting lighted signs of Moonintes giving us the finger to promote their front operation, Aqua Teen Hunger Force.