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Do you want one for Christmas?
Conservation Status
  Critically Endangered  
Kingdom Animalia
Phylum Chordata
Class Mammalia
Order Artiodactyla
Family Cervidae
Genus Hippopotamus
Species H. Alces
Binomial Name
Hippopotamus Alces
(F. Idiot, 2009)

The Hippopotamoose is a large, round animal with proportionally large antlers. Hippopotamoosi were used as mobile coatracks by American armies in The Illogicopedia War of the English and Americans, until it was discovered that they would explode on contact with lit dynamite, where they were phased out in favor of the Chickenhorse. It is said the Hippopotamoose breathes through it's antlers while swimming underwater.

Due to a spike in the population of predatory land eels, the species has recently experienced a decline.

Sometimes I experience a decline. The girl's promise never to tell anyone but i can see them smiling when they leave, I need to get some pills or something.

Is this thing still on?