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Chickenhorse (also Chicken Horse
Chicken-horse hybrid.jpeg
Do you say "giddyup" or bawk-awk?
Conservation Status
  Least Concern  
Kingdom Game of Thrones
Phylum Vertebrata
Class Varius quis hyacintho
Order Clunibus magnis alis pulli
Family Avis equorum
Genus Monstrum rostro
Species P. equitibus
Width 0.7m (avg)
Length 2.2m (avg)
Binomial Name
Pullum cum equitibus
(Gruntlesmithy, 2014)

The Chickenhorse is a create of enormous, and not usually proportionally correct, size that likes to graze on the hair of homo sapis. It should be made clear to the seekers of the creature that they did not taste like bologna. If you see a Chickenhorse you will know it so it will not be described since its physical appearance can only be put into words through profanity of highest order of frizzleness.

Origins[edit | edit source]

These handsome animals were bred in some laboratory shrouded in the mists of government secrecy and conspiracy theories. The first publicly revealed sighting was in Alamo National Park in New Mexico, in 1938. An expedition in search of evidence of alien architecture stumbled upon a pack of feral chickenhorses that had taken to scavenging and hunting. Unfortunately all witnesses were eaten after being horribly killed.

No one really knows how they were created. Theories include genetic experiments by space aliens, a super-secret weapons program or the result of chemical weapons attacks combined with a breeding program under the regime of Saddam Hussein for suicide falling off buildings onto Israeli diplomats in Manhattan. A popular urban legend attributes the genius behind them as Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken, who's ultimate goal was 40 pound chicken wings. Just theories.

The fact is, these animals, left to their own devices, run down prey in packs, electrocuting them with their beaks, and gore the victims once down with retractable slicing teeth. Like cats, they seem to enjoy playing with their food. They are remarkably adaptive, and take to city life with ease.