IllogiZoo:Kitchen Zebras
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| Kitchen Zebra | ||
|---|---|---|
 British people say "zebra" funny, with a short e. | ||
| Conservation Status | ||
| Least Concern | ||
| Kingdom | Evil | |
| Phylum | Vertebrata | |
| Class | Not A Fish | |
| Order | No, definitely not a fish | |
| Family | Smooth | |
| Genus | Propecia | |
| Species | C. Zebraphone | |
| Width | 0.9m (avg) | |
| Length | 1.7m (avg) | |
| Binomial Name | ||
(Gruntlesmithy, 2011) | ||
Kitchen Zebras are household pests found in many suburban homes. They are full-sized African zebras, but instead of living in African plains, they squeeze themselves in to cupboards, shelves, and holes in walls.
"I was so upset when I discovered that I had a zebra infestation!" says one homeowner, "I kept hearing this scratching coming from inside the wall, so I opened the wall up expecting to find a mouse or something. Instead, a fully grown zebra tumbled out of the wall. I chased him out of the room with a flyswatter. The next day I found a nest of the bastards in the attic."
Kitchen zebras can be eradicated with twelve-foot mouse traps. Turning lions loose in your home also works. How is pregnant?