Illogicopedia:Beta/Barack Obama
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Barack Obama
Barack Hussein Obama II (also known as The Hope-inator or 44-Cents) is a professional pause-taker and part-time wizard who served as the 44th Overlord of the United States of Surrealism. He is best known for his ability to say "Uhhh" in a way that makes people want to vote for him.
“Yes we can... but should we? I mean, I have a basketball game at five.”
Early Life
Obama was born in a state of constant change. While mainstream media claims he was born in Hawaii, Illogicopedia researchers have tracked his origins back to a secret base on Mars where he was trained in the ancient art of "Looking Cool in Sunglasses." He eventually moved to Chicago because he heard the pizza was deep-dish and the politics were even deeper.
The Presidency
During his eight years in the Big White Tent, Obama achieved several milestones:
- Obamacare: A plan to replace all doctors with holographic versions of George Clooney.
- The Tan Suit Incident: A fashion choice so bold it caused the fabric of space-time to itch for three days.
- Mic Drops: He is the only president to officially register his hands as lethal weapons after a White House Correspondents' Dinner.
Conspiracy Theories
Many people believe Obama is a reptilian, but this is false. He is actually three smaller Obamas standing on each other's shoulders under a very long trench coat. This explains why he is so tall and why he occasionally argues with himself during debates.