K Cider
K Cider is a brand of rocket fuel made especially for the super awesome. At at a whopping 8.2% plutonium, it is sure to cure any visible signs of deficiency, and most usually life, within a 2 mile radius. Created by accident in an industrial experiment it was quickly pushed for marketing to the general public as a supposedly-alcoholic beverage.
Most people too pussy to attempt drinking it, it was left to the fearless superhero elite walking our streets to harness the power of the K. Whether its protecting the world from loose change or shouting at cars, K Cider has helped these brave men and women save the world many times over; providing them with the energy they need to tirelessly walk the earth day and night, freed from the need of employment and shelter. Mortal concerns like not stabbing pidgeons with your spud knife are eradicated by the methanol flavourings used to distill K, which can also grant future sight if injected into the eyeballs. As so, drinking K Cider grants the user near invincibility leaving them weak only to kryptonite.
The Magical Fluid?[edit | edit source]
Since the dawn of time people have asked why K isn't served in pubs, and why anyone hasn't tried to run their car on the stuff yet. Of course without drinking K yourself it is impossible to understand the necessity of paying for the beverage using only spare change gathered from strangers, a practice landlords unthinkingly discourage in their patrons. This is a big issue for K drinkers, so much so that most spend their spare time handing out campaign literature in the street to anyone who will listen.
Though drinkers are unable to vote, a voracious grassroots movement is stirring in support of K Cider. Amongst the group outrage is high at its hefty £1.10 a can pricetag, and for many the day when K will be freely available on the NHS can't come soon enough. The argument put forth is that K takes care of up to four of your five a day, with only one other major organ not sufficiently damaged by its nutritional lack of content.
See Also[edit | edit source]
