Lions Club
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
 → 
|
The Lions Club was founded by Emperor Nero in 60 A.C. as a means of controlling the spread of Christianity.
As a service club which eats Christian soldiers for breakfast, the Lions Club is considered to be one of Nero's more important accomplishments, restoring to lions a status which they hadn't enjoyed since the days of the biblical Daniel.
Famous lions to be members include:
- The MGM lion.
- the Food Lion
- The producers of Whose Lion Is It, Anyway?
- The inventors of "All our lions are busy, please hold..." voice mail systems.
All have been lionized by this organisation for many years.
While tigers are not authorized to be full members of the Lions Club, some honorary members include:
- Tony the Tiger.
- The Giant Tiger (of department-store fame).
- The members of Canadian schlock-rock band Glass Tiger
- The Esso "tiger in your tank" (actually just a blatant rip-off of Tony).
Tiger Woods has also requested full membership in the club, but his application has yet to be decided as he is a Lion Cheetah and unlikely to change his stripes.
See also[edit | edit source]
- Nero - In modern times, Nero is best known for his invention of the DVD-RW burner, but we will always remember him along with the score at the Coliseum: Lions 1 Christians 0