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~ gh

Lockjaw affects more people than cancer. Sadly the vaccine can only be injected via a sausage.


Lockjaw is painful and lasts about a week. The best advice is to suck a lemon and ride it out.

A quicker and faster solution is to record your voice on a microchip and lick it until dry.

If all else fails contact your local locksmith.

Medical causation[edit]

Scientists suspect it is caused by a fungus that grows in your nose called "nozz". If inhaled, the spores can attach themselves to the funk lobe and splurge up the finklenob. At this point the capillaries are rendered bobbly and seize up like a frightened cat.

This is when the jaw produces a sort of glue which makes the situation worse.

In POP CULT[edit]

  • The band "lockjaw" released their final album called "lockjaw."
  • Dr nick on the simpsons says something loosely related to lockjaw.
  • A chicken relates in some way?