MS-DOS

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Microsoft (R) Windows DOS

(C)Copyright Microsoft corpse 1990-2001 C>:hello computer

'HELLO COMPUTER' is not recognised as an internal or external command, operable program or batch of files that fell off of a lorry on the way to dover, and were swiftly horded away by Barry Scott

C>:find printer

Printer could not be found, it may be buried under the big red X, or that hobo who has a newly found printer might know how to help us find it.

C>:help me

Stupid user detected, euthanizing user for his or her own good

C>:Any Key

Any key depressed, initiation of ejector seat started

C>:Cancel Ej.....

Ejection cannot be cancelled, take the computer back to the shop or this computer will steal your beverage that is placed cleverly in the disc drive.

C>:"Give me a hug"

...

C>:"Come on don't be like that."


C>:_