Mike Pence

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“Come on now dude, you're making the entire Republican Party look like a frickin' hate group!”

~ Donald Trump on Mike Pence

Mike Pence (born in 1959) is the 48th and last Vice President of the United States of America. He is also notorious for looking 10 years older than he actually is, and for being a huge conservative Christian homophobe despite "trying" not to.

He' also pretty skinny and (fairly) fit for his age, despite looking rather pretty old.

Early life[edit | edit source]

Pence was born to rich conservative Christian parents in rural Texas and later graduated from high school in 1977. After that, he attended some Conservative Christian college in the early thru mid 80's. Blah.

Early political career[edit | edit source]

Pence once almost got arrested for narrowly avoiding punching an openly gay protestor at one of his rallies. But the police didn't care. Pence also once stuck his hand into his pet rabbit's buttcrack while searching for poop to sniff out.

Modern day political career[edit | edit source]

Pence has sent nuclear bombs to North Korea and even to members of the Democratic Party. He also sits back and relaxes often while drinking a big ass glass of pink lemonade on the White House porch.

Family members[edit | edit source]

Karen Pence (waifu), Tiffany Taffyball Spence mCSpencE Pence (daughter), and Moby Dickson Pence (son)

OH!, and I almost forgot, Count FUCKING BUNCKULA!!! Badass!