Neopets

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DUDE QUIT STEELIN ME ITEMZ!!1!11!1

They're everywhere. Everywhere I tell you. They're ninjas too! And pirates! And there are ninja pirates! And Super Awesome Totally Middle-Aged Robot Mutant Ninja Robot Pirate Robots With Adequate Knowledge of Semaphore and a Jaw-Droppingly Extensive Knowledge of Will Smith Trivia Wearing T-Shirts With Hilarious Slogans Who Like To Visit Their Decrepit Mother on Occasion and are Part-Time Locomotive Train Drivers In the Georgian Era and Who Lobby Against the Use of Sex as a Method of Reproduction. But they're in disguise. Oh, yes. Yes, they are.

Why they are coloUred[edit | edit source]

Apparently, they come out of mommys. Which doesn't make sense. Because...it's not physically possible. And then their parents treat them like slaves. Which was outlawed in the United States & Mozambique by the Thirteenth Amendment to the Lilian Fairweatherian Constitution. So technically, Neopets is unconstitutional. But that doesn't matter, because they live in Britain.

MY GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRL[edit | edit source]

Meant to type "grarrl" sorry ascuse me while I ate my own faeces as repentance. Archosaurs! And Archosauria, ggrrraawl! Also that was a legit “roar” kinda… of a roar; yes!

Speaking of Britain...[edit | edit source]

Brits have odd accents. Unfortunately, people attempt to copy those accents as much as possible, leading to a shortage of accents in Britain. Yes, and now even in Ireland too, it seems they're low on kilts...sonny. STOP CALLING ME SONNY!! (Attempts to kill Irish man)