Neopets

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DUDE QUIT STEELIN ME ITEMZ!!1!11!1

They're everywhere. Everywhere I tell you. They're ninjas too! And pirates! And there are ninja pirates! And Super Awesome Totally Middle-Aged Robot Mutant Ninja Robot Pirate Robots With Adequate Knowledge of Semaphore and a Jaw-Droppingly Extensive Knowledge of Will Smith Trivia Wearing T-Shirts With Hilarious Slogans Who Like To Visit Their Decrepit Mother on Occasion and are Part-Time Locomotive Train Drivers In the Georgian Era and Who Lobby Against the Use of Sex as a Method of Reproduction. But they're in disguise. Oh, yes. Yes, they are.

Why they are coloUred[edit]

Apparently, they come out of mommys. Which doesn't make sense. Because...it's not physically possible. And then their parents treat them like slaves. Which was outlawed in the United States by the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution. So technically, Neopets is unconstitutional. But that doesn't matter, because they live in Britain.

MY GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRL[edit]

Meant to type "grarrl" sorry ascuse me while I ate my own faeces as repentance. Archosaurs!

Speaking of Britain...[edit]

Brits have odd accents. Unfortunately, people attempt to copy those accents as much as possible, leading to a shortage of accents in Britain. Yes, and now even in Ireland too, it seems they're low on kilts...sonny. STOP CALLING ME SONNY!! (Attempts to kill Irish man)