Never Say Never
Hello there! You must be the more uh... "Special" students at this school. My name is Juan de Fuca, and I am your class instructor. Now, this class is about learning things. Not not learning things, but rather learning things you would not have learned if this were a class on not learning things. Anyhow, the procedures in this class require three things. First, two dollars is a lot of money.
You can buy candy. Second, You must need a pencil and two more dollars. And third, not to mention most important, never say never.
Oh, wait...[edit | edit source]
What the hell? I just said never two times in a single sentence, and I'm not even supposed to say it at all. This is crazy. I never thought the day would-- Oh, shit! This is retarded. This wasn't supposed to happen anymore! God. I should call my doctor again.
Wait! My doctor said that this would never happen again! Holy Shit! I just said "never" again. What fun. It almost seems that every sentence I say has the word "never" in it. God! Why can't I stop the madness! This was never supposed to happen! Aw, shit. I did it again. None of this makes sense. But then again, the world never makes any sen-- FUCK! What the hell?
This is insane[edit | edit source]
Come on! I just can't stop saying "never". Fuck! I said "never" again. Damnit! Why can't I stop saying "never"? WHY!?!!?!??! Life is so unfair. Oh, God, why can't you make me stop? I'll never sin again! Never! Or I will never say "never" again! I promise! Just stop the madness! OHHHHH!
This sucks. I can never stop saying "never", and now all of my retard students are throwing their pets at me. This has never happened before. OH FUCK! Why? Oh, why!?! I vow never to say "never" any more! Never again! Just stop the madness and never have this happen again! Aww, shit! I can never stop saying it! This is never going to end! Students! Fuck! Never do that again, Thomas.
OK, let's just calm down[edit | edit source]
OK, Juan, let's just take some deep breaths. Breath in *unhale* Breath out *inhale*. Ok. Now let's try this again. Students! Come and sit down. We have class to work on. Now, what was I saying? Oh yes. The class rules.
OK. Now, let's review. What is the first rule? Bring two dollars. Second? Bring a pencil and two more dollars. Third? Ok, here goes: Do not ever say - notice how I didn't say the word you were supposed to say? - well, um... I'll spell it out. N-E-V-E-R. There Never.
Aww, shit!