Pleasantly Warm and Thoroughly Washed

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Pleasantly Warm and Thoroughly Washed was a film released by Universally Questionable Studios in late 2010 about self-discovery, bravery (or lack thereof), and acceptance. Featuring an all-star cast, somewhat reasonable direction and a budget of $3.55 (with special effects incorporated by means of flash animation), the film worked five days a week at the box office wherein it was primarily employed to write and scan documents for boxes.


  • Noyvis Dundee as delusional pizza deliveryman
  • His unsettling neighbour as the alien space queen Dementicon
  • Redheaded ladette as pizza shop owner
  • Kelis as overbearing woman from New Hampshire
  • Germanese moustached man as obsessive compulsive gherkin
  • Octopus as party host and suspected assault perpetrator
  • Lady from Somerset as overgrown celery stick

Barely tangible plotline[edit]

Momentarily, the film's writers and developers had been considering utilising the title Pleasantly Warm and Thoroughly Washed in a thematic sense, placing members of the cast in various different situations in which they would either be pleasantly warm, thoroughly washed, or both. Eventually this idea had been abandoned as they considered it would be too 'arthouse' and go against the cinematic conventions of their contemporaries. With some effort, an actual plotline had been developed, and the below was the final revision which made it to film.

An octopus in a spider outfit rings for the local pizza outlet to deliver pizza to him and his party guests at a fancy dress event located in his gargalesthesia hut. Unfortunately, the delivery man happens to have hallucinations of the fairly severe variety, with his correspondent at the pizza shop neglecting to inform him before he left that the area was home to people in costume. After being approached by a woman dressed as an overgrown celery stick, he fled the scene in fright and left their order at the door without charging them prior. This led to the lady at the store getting in trouble with her manager, Kelis, and being fired. Whilst she resorted to drinking several cans of soda, the delivery man was let off with a warning and subsequently put in charge of making milkshakes, in keeping with a strict ratio of bringing five boys to the yard per milkshake.

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