Rob Christ

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Life[edit | edit source]

Rob Boswell was born when a 30 ton cruise liner landed from the sky onto the women on the corner of fifth and third. All the passengers' sperm was immediately rushed to Rob's mom's vagina.

Sersiously, it could probably do some s**t like that cause that's a REAL fast impact...i mean you wouldnt even feel it....anyway...when the doctors pulled Rob Christ out of the womb, they did so by force of Electrically charged salad prongs, due to the fact that he didn't want to come out and it would subdue him. Still a child, Rob Christ was pulled from the womb and kept in iron shackles and fed fishsticks untill he was 6 and they were sure he could enter a triathalon.

As a teenager Rob Christ partied that s**t up and drank and smoked some good pot, and was even almost intimate with a fair maiden named Rochelle. He had a fairly paid job at a place called TQ's...................and then one day God said to Rob, "Robert my Son...I must taketh half Thy face to feed to the guard dogs." Robert Boswell Christ did just as His Father asked.

Not soon after, Robert Christ was in a seriously f*****-up car accident. In which, God had taken his Mercury Sable. He cast down to Rob the message: "I'm sorry...I needed your car. It was pretty awesome." Robert groaned. Then his Father beamed another message down and said, "Here My Child...have a Toyota Avalone...but if you f*** this up im disowning you." "Ok". replied a tired Saviour.

He did catch up after his F'd-up early life, and proceeded to be a normal Saviour, like most of the rest of the Jesii.