Roy G. Biv

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Roy G. Biv was an acclaimed and famous actor who lived to be 102 years old. He was born into a rough life, but he grew up to become a famous and acclaimed actor who starred in several colour realted movies. However, his roles in these movies were often very small and unimportant, but he managed to become one of the most famous actors ever.

Early Life[edit | edit source]

No one knows how Roy got his hair, .

Roy lived a life of hardship in the early years. He was born in 1902 in New York city. One may think he was born in a nice, clean, sanitary hospital, but that person would in fact be horribly wrong. It is a well known fact that Roy, named after his mother's favorite Transformette, Yor, was born in or near an old, dirty New York dumpster. His mother died shortly after labor, and scribbled "roy" on her baby's chest right before she died. Rumor has it that she was trying to write "Boy", but was too near death to do so properly. Either that or she was too unintelligent. However, Roy was found by a couple of abusive fathers who were out walking their pitbulls, and they were about to feed him to the dogs when an old lady walked by. The stopped, smiled, and waved, and by the time, Roy, being a very intelligent and physically advanced baby considering his age, had bit the mans hand and had crawled away to the nearest orphanage without stopping.

Roy lived in the orphanage for a matter of years, and in that time he knew from the moment he could think about careers that he was destined to become a poopsmith. However, his cruel, abusive orphanage forced him into the realms of acting, because of his oddly couloured hair, which was rainbow. This even made him unwillingly venture into the acting career. However, he did not know that he would become one of the most monumental actors of our time.

Early Career[edit | edit source]

Roy began his career at small school plays, coming in as the main character and playing an absolutley magnificent and important role in the play, such as the baby Jesus (Despite being a hardy six foot two), Arthur in the Fnord in the Stone, and Jon, one of the only actors who has a legitmate set of lines in the school play "A Series of Farm Animals Played by YOUR Children". The baby Jesus did not have many lines, but was just as important. Arthur in the Fnord in the Stone was the one whole pulled the Fnord out of the rock, and Jon in the play Went by all of the animals and named them off, while the insignifacant children inside the animal suits smiled and waved to their proud parents.

Roy was not happy with his roles in plays.

However, this brief stint of fame did not please Roy. At this point you may be thinking "What a selfless, good-hearted man," or "What the fuck is wrong this guy? He is the guy all the kids are jealous of cause he's the only one who gets a good role in the plays!". Roy was a man who did not enjoy the limelight, he would rather be one of thoses stupid, buck-toothed smiling twits in the animal suits. However, he could not do this, because he was the most prized twenty year old actor who specialized in school plays. To end it all, he faked his death. Actually, he was quoted that he did that to evade tax troubles, and just moved out of state to avoid the children plays.

Big Acting[edit | edit source]

After his strange disappearance, school plays across the country suddenly fell apart. However, this did not affect Roy, who persued his poopsmith dream. He went searching, but could not find any jobs. He decided to keep up the search until he did. However, one night an acting scout approached Roy and gave him a reward he never dreamed of - if he acted for the scout, the scout would find him a job in the poopsmith business. Roy could do nothing but accept this offer, and that choice led him to a life he would never had known.

The Colour Incident[edit | edit source]

The Coulour Incident was Roy's first big movie. Since other, more important actors had already been hired for the main roles, the acting scout could only manage to get Roy something less important. He was given the role of a man who sat at the cafe sipping annoyingly at his esspresso as the two antoginsts discussed their sinisters plans. Each time they began to whisper something, Roy would make a loud slurping noise and interrupt the men. This ensued for roughly five minutes, in which Roy slowly and loudly sipped his two ounce shot of coffee. He recieved twenty dollars in pay for this role.

A Man of Many Colours[edit | edit source]

The movie When Her Cheeks Lost Colour drove Roy's popularity through the roof, despite five seconds of camera time.

In this movie, a man assumes the identity of a black man, an asian man, and, lastly, a white man. Roy has his brief role as a hospital patient. As the main character walks by the hospital beds towards his injured friend, the camera zooms past Roy's bed, which is blurred and in the backround. Roy is mumbling something, and it is unclear exactly what he said. Some say it was "I like Salad" but others say it was "Tomorrow is tomato day." whichever it be, Roy was delighted with his brief stint.

When Her Cheeks Lost Colour[edit | edit source]

The movie starred some people, no one really payed attention to them, though. Roy's role was so amazing that it forever changed his career. As the two main characters strolled through a calm park discoving love affairs, Roy rode by an a bicycle. His performance changed movie making as they knew it, and the style of movies forever changed. He won an Oscar for his performance as "Best Civilian Actor".

These items of fame were too much for Roy, who began to have a mental breakdown. His acting scout noticed this, and announced his retirement, to the disappointment of millions of movie-watching Americans.

After Acting[edit | edit source]

As his scout promised, Roy became a poopsmith after his acting career. This utterly delighted Roy, and he felt as though his life couldn't be better. He became one of the most well known poopsmiths of all time.

He also settled down with a wife. However, he did not notice that she was mentally reatrded and suicidal. She killed herself eight days into the marraige, but he was still very excited with his job. He became very talented and was quite proud of his work. He lived in a Cabin in Northern Canada, where he lived with his pet Ostrich, Calvin. Calvin was notorious for eating Roy's work shovels, because he ejoyed the taste of the poop. Roy started to get annoyed, and bludgeoned clavin with a shovel to kill him.

Soon, Roy grew old and died. No one know how he died, but it is suspected that he died from being eaten by pirahnas, based on the fact several bullet holes were around his torso.

See Also[edit | edit source]