San Francisco

“Even though I have a car, I always cycle to work. It's not because I want to keep fit (although I do). It's because in San Francisco, parking fees are $15 a day.”

~ A typical resident

“I went here... without any flowers in my hair! How's that?”

~ A typical rebel

San Francisco is a city in California that can only be described as a colder, whiter, liberal-er, hilly-er, less crowded-er, Golden Gate Bridge-ier, Alcatraz-ier, friendlier-er, and more Asian-er version of Los Angeles.

Here's why.

Spanish Settlement

Before teh pplz of Spain came and established a mission at Saint Francis there were Injun tribes that ruled the galaxy and conquered the DC Universe. Once the Spaniardishes came and forced them to become Cathy-lick, the population dropped like da bass.

Mexican-American War

America be like GUISE LOOGADAT LAND WEST OF THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE LETS GIT US SOME 'O DAT!

Little did these Americans know that that land belonged to the mighty Mexico.

Mexico be like JAJAJAJAJA ELLOS NO PUEDEN ROBAR NUESTRA TIERRA PORQUE NOSOTROS SON LOS MAS PODEROSOS. CHINGA TU MADRE, PINCHES GRINGOS!

But the belligerent Americans beat Mexico in the war so that's how the west coast became whiter and more polluted. Thanks a lot, capitalism.

2023 update

It's dangerous.