Severed Head

So you know one day I was walking, right? Things were normal. And so I was walknig down the street and had an urge to eat some newspaper. Don't ask me why. But I like burgers, too. SO I walked up to one of those pay for your newspaper things where you put the penis coins into the vagina slot and wallah the door opens and you have yummy newspaper.

So what I did was I went up to one and threw like, a dollars worth of coins in there so I could eat something. And guess what was inside when I opened it up? A fucking severed head

Dispose of your heads, man.

OK, What the Fuck?

So I see this bloody head here, so I'm like "What the Fuck?" I mean, what would you do if you found a severed head inside of a weird newspaper thing that you payed a dollar to open? Eat it? No way, man, I was there for the newspaper. So that is what I got. I picked one up, and it was all bloody. But who cares? Blood tastes good anyway.

So I took like, three newspapers so I could eat them. And I started eating one, and some freak lady just started screaming. I mean, she was like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!11!!!one!!1" So I went over and slapped her with a rainbow trout that I had in my pocket and she fell into a deep coma, so I was like, "What the Fuck?" I mean, this was weird.

SO then I went back over to the newspaper thing and there is caution tape int he way and Police everywhere. It had only been like, twenty seconds. How the Fuck did the police get here and still have time to pee? I don't know man.

It inspired me

So that event inspired me to start a religous cult that encourages people to properly dispose of the severed heads they need to dispose of. I mean, ti was the coolest thing, except there were only like two people in it. And then Our base burnt down because the KKK thought we a group who was against them, so we went bankrupt and I had a lawsuit filed against me for raping a baby monk seal. That was great.