Shanda Lear

Shanda Lear (born April 9, 1962) is the illegitimate daughter of hardware store mogul Seelin Phan and country singer Crystal Shandha Lear.

Shanda is a journalist of some notoriety, having published a number of freelance music reviews in major publications, including Rolling Stone, Moosejaw Daily Droppings, Ladies Home Journal and Swank. This is fortunate, as she can't sing a decent note out of any of her major orifices, and thinks that the difference between between a 5 penny nail (5d) and a 10 penny nail (10d) is 5 cents.

Ms. Lear is often found hanging around the foyer of the swankiest hotels, in the hope of stumbling onto a story about the rich and famous. It was utilising this method that she first broke the news about the Britney Spears/Kids from Fame affair.

Fun Fact: Her review of the final album by concept-band Lobe is credited with lobotomizing their career.

Shanda has also been spotted hanging out of the windows of many tour buses over the years, but almost entirely from those of the least-prestigious, least-popular groups like 22.86 Centimetre Nails, Stench, and To Be Announced.