Sniveling smilies

One of the greatest crises in modern times is that of sniveling smilies. Their sadness is unbearable, and the entire world droops and huddles in despair as their unhappiness spreads through the minds and societies of the planet.

To help the world recover from this great illness, the undertaking of a great effort has been called for by prominent psychosocial experts. The state of the world depends on the fate of these unfortunate smilies, so no amount of time and energy is wasted trying to turn the frown into a smile, and to wipe away the dreadful tears.

However, due to the terror and negative feelings which the very idea of the threat has caused on social media, a tight lid is nowadays kept on the old plan and current actions to make the emojis of the world happy. It's all generally referred to as the Smiley Face Conspiracy – a good conspiracy which you and everyone else should definitely support if you learn about it, or else.