T3PO's Untitled Parody of Christmas and Hannukah

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“My dreidel won't spin, mommy!”

~ Jewish kid

“You're holding it the wrong way”

~ His mom

Walking around, the Christmas tree

and I'm gettin' real dizzy


...Santa Claus is comin' to town

he sees you when you're sleeping.... STALKER!


God dammit! ANOTHER Tim Allen Christmas movie?


"Haha! Us Jews get 8 days of celebration when you only get 1!"

"At least I don't have a big nose!"

KAPWND!


What does the birth of Jesus have to do with an evergreen tree anyway?


I hate snowmen. The last time I saw Frosty was at a Wendy's....LAME


“I'm gonna have Toast like I did on Halloween and get my friend to write me a letter about not promoting my articles in my other articles


On the first day of Christmas my true love came to me...

Ten minutes later...

...on the tenth day of Christmas my true love ca-

SHUT UP!


If I have to hear "Santa Baby" one more time I'll slit someone's throat. all nearby people cower in fear


I've seen a white Christmas but Elvis must be on PCP cause I ain't never seen no blue Christmas


Jingle Bells is overrated.

T3PO is murdered

RMS takes his place


Let it snow? what is this crap? More like... let her blow, or something.


“Mommy, did Jesus freeze his butt off when he was born like how we are today?”

~ A child remarking on the temperature of christmas day

Ok minister dude, I'm sick of all of this Jesus bullshit, just give me my goddamn egg nog, or f*****g else.


“Why doesn't it snow here?”

~ A dumbass San Diegan on winter

No seriously, shut the hell up about Jesus, or I'll take this present and shove it up your ass!


Ok, I just can't take this anymore, plus, I'm out of ideas

Readmesoon shoots himself