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Linda, Bill and Ashley

TAKE ANYTHING U WHANT is a series by I WAS ROBBBB BY TU MEN Corporation. It tells the story of two lovers requited in a video of subtitled self-aerobics. The story foreshadows of insanity, and in the end, murder happens. It's said that the main element of foreshadowing is that the protagonist, Linda's, hands smell like macaroni and cheese. THE CHARACTERS ARE WATCHING YOU THROUGH THE TELEVISION SCREEN.

Series critics have agreed that the characters are lovable, almost to the point of being devoid of personality so that one can relate. Oft, the series will drop Mwahahah subtle clues of what is to come, without the reader (watcher?) being aware. Currently, it is in production when the chatroom explodes.

The series also uses a lot of filler, such as filler, to make it seem larger, which tends to annoy viewers who want to see the whole shebang and they have to wade through all this CRAP and it's so irritating and UGH. The series tends to add forced and lesser memes to the series, and vice versa.

As a last word, the series' appeal went up 76 percent in the last year. Do you know why? It's because their target audience is EPIC FAIL -- old nerdy women with unfaithful husbands. Quite depressing, actually -- they love it when Linda bites into a luscious bar of milk chocolate while slinging catch phrases at her husband, Gordo.


Script[edit | edit source]

(A beautiful, sexy, hot woman is seen, in a lime/forest-green checker squared bikini. Asian, with close-cropped black hair.)

????: Oh... wonder where your thought take you.. let's get some hymen, let's go to Glen, oh we'll see, oh we'll see, all the wonders of the world...

(A women in purple, with long, flowing hair in a ponytail, is on the shore, at a beachly campfire)


Bill: Ch, Ashley, like, you're not my mom! Lozar!

Ashley: No, I'm your wife.

Bill: Ashley, you know what I've never gotten about you?

Ashley: What, LO-ZARR?

Bill: All the self-reference. It's obvious that we're doing something wrong here. I mean, if we were in a sto--

Ashley: If you're so afraid, stop there. Now let's do some AEEEEEROBICS!

Bill: Hells yeah, sistah!

(Bill gets up, tries to descend the rock, fails, snaps her neck)

Ashley: Oh no...

(Ashley gets in her car, looks for her keys, and checks the glove compartment)

Ashley: What's this?! A pistol!?

(Suddenly, a man garbed in white, with a shaggy beard and brown hair, attempts to bang on the window. Ashley slams him while getting out. He gets up.)

????: Worry not, my sister, for this fight will be over instantly. I am the main bad dude.

Ashley: Your... sister? What are you talking about?

????: I, Jesus, smite you.

(Jesus' voice becomes 8-bit)

Jesus: World feel thunder of God!

(KRAKA-BOOM, Ashley is insta-pwn'd by the villain)

(Ashley awakes in a hospital. Everything is white. It's like nihilism or something. And then, suddenly, sirens are heard.)

Ashley: What the!?

(Zombies pile into the hospital room. Ashley grabs her logic and wife, asks the zombies politely for a moment, ties her to her back, and jumps out. She lands ungracefully, and sees a woman being killed by... A GIANT WANG?)

Ashley: Nooo!

(Ashley attempts to beat up the wang with her fists. It retreats into a hole in the city walls. Ashley heaves as she looks across the street. Cafe cafe cafe THEATRE.)

The woman

Ashley: That was kind of gross... I wonder what in the movie theater. And what's with these crappy images? Ugh.

Narrarator: Just go with the flow, Ashley, just go with the flow.

Ashley: Oh, shut up, you. All you do is get baked. I'm the central protagonist, bee-yatch!

Narrarator: Point taken. Continue on.

Ashley: First, I need to find a few things to snack on. Mm, like chocolate.

(Ashley stumbles across a stand in the brightly-lit theatre, whose walls are barely tarnished and oh just forget the description.)

Ashley: Damn, no way to get it open. That coffee shop should have a way.

(Ashley runs to the coffee shop, lazy vaults the counter, and grabs the sledgehammer from the hidden compartment. Running back to the stand, she slams open the candy compartment. Suddenly, the 'dead' woman runs in.)

????: Hey, can I have some, too!?

Ashley: Hey, you're not dead. Cool.

????: Yeah. My name is HAAY-LEEE. So can I? Can I, can I, can I?

Ashley: Okay...

(She takes a chocolate bar which has been impaled with glass)

Ashley: Wait, are you sure that--

(With a sickening crunch, Haley now has a bleeding tongue and slashed mouth.)

Haley: Stuff happens, right? You just come back after you die.

Ashley: Well, whatever. (Walks over to a poster)

Ashley: I can take you! (Smacks the poster upside the head)

Haley: Umm... wait, what? Phrubub poster head nose?

Ashley: Nah, it does. It's just not telling us. 'We've gotta do the interrogate thing.

Haley: (loads pistol) Exactly! (Takes aim at Ashley) Give me all your money!

Ashley: Wait, what? I don't know any money!!

Haley: In that case..

(Suddenly, the theatre is breached by a spear-wielding, buff, loincloth-wearing zombie)


Ashley: Oh, great.

(Ashley fires a shotgun shell, but it bounces off the zombie's muscular abs)


Ashley: Gah, it's King Zombonidas!

Haley: I'll take care of it.

(Haley fires a reserve rocket launcher at the zombie, asploding it)

Ashley: That was reserved for the final boss!!

Haley: Final what?

Ashley: (Facepalms) I'm doing it again.

Ashley: (grabs an iron pipe) Listen, we gotta get my sister to--

(The wang bursts through the wall again, and slashes Ashley)

Ashley: Gah! Safety! I could've dodged that if this wasn't weighed me down.

Haley: What was?

Ashley: My logic!

Haley: Determining outcomes, eh? That could be a problem.

Ashley: Throw my safety logic at that thing!

Haley: Of course! (Throws the logic at the wang, causing it to get hurt. The wang retreats)

Ashley: We really need to get out of here!

(Suddenly, Dungeon Delver Liam jumps in through the wanghole)

Liam: (Dusts self off) Wot are yoo two pretty garls doin' heer?

Ashley: Drop the accent, lover-boy. (Chik-chik)

Liam: Y-yes, madam! See, I'm unarmed. My specialty is getting in... places.

Ashley: Is that so...?

Liam: I'll get you to an Office Building if you give me a weapon.

(Haley hands him her reserve machine gun)

Liam: You won't regret this at all, heh... (Yeah you will. Wait 'til the illogicopedians get a hold of you!)

Unknown Randomness[edit | edit source]


TAKE ANYTHING U WHANT, an Illogicopedian Drama
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