Template:Newsstories
| Dead person dies of death |
A dead person was found dead today at Confederate Square in Old Nottingham Village. Officials who investigated the cause of his death reported: "He appears to have died of death."
The incident, which gained mass media coverage over the weekend, is thought to be similar in nature to a recent shooting at a morgue, where 17 still remain dead. Though the cause of this latest death remains uncertain, the leading theory is that being dead killed him. Officials are making further investigation, though they are refusing to give details in an apparent attempt to calm the population over fears that millions of already dead people in cemeteries across the world may face the worst.
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| Stupidy may lower your brain capactiy? |
A recent Yale study said that stupidy may lower your brain capacity. An Oxford study said that stupidy helps you be smarter. Harvard went with Yale's study. The study included many test subjects and most proved Yale's theory; stupidy lowers your brain capacity.
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| It's time for an IllogiNews article (apparently) |
03/08/2008
This very day it is predicted by scientists, cyclists, psychologists, scientologists, people-who got-the-gist's, discarded wrists, optometrists, and a recurring extra from the popular game GTA:IV, that a news article is to appear on Illogicopedia.
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| Man beaten by potato croquette |
Huddersfield, England. 42-year-old family man Dave Smith was today recovering in hospital after an incident involving a potato croquette in which he cheated death. As he was about to stick his fork in his evening meal, the croquette began spitting and bubbling before emitting a high pitched wine. A shocked family looked on in horror as the potato mutated into a human-like form right before their eyes.
| Over to you Tom |
"... and thus concludes our report on the second coming of Christ. Now for the weather, over to you Tom."
"Thanks Bob, and may I remark upon your stylish new tie."
"Thanks Tom, so is it all set to be a sunny weekend?"
"Where'd you get that tie Bob? I'm thinking Burtons."
'"The Weathe-wait? How did you know."
"It's just my nephew had been wearing one like it all last week, and he'd got his from Burtons."
"Oh no! One of us is going to have to change."
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| Frog Found in Man's Ear |
On Wednesday, a man was found with a frog in his ear. It has been there for three years, feeding off ear wax and skin. It is found that the frog is female and has laid eggs that have reportedly fell into his small intestine which will have to be removed in urine.
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