Tentacles

You have been eaten by the tentacles dipped in mustard. This is very unfortunate as the burning cookie accumulator cannot function without your fecal excrement.

Why Batman ate all the pastrami

Recently on Banana TV, Batman ate all the pastrami growing out of an extremely fat kid's belly button, thus creating a physical time paradox and destroying all of humanity. The last remaining human on Earth happened to be Mel Gibson, who proceeded to vomit uncontrollably until he exploded into a million pieces. While often being thought to be over weight, some disagree.

Whodunnit

I SAID WHODUNNIT ANSWER ME. IT WAS THE TACO GUY, WASN'T IT. DAVID PUMPKINS.