The Banana Censorship Brigade

The Banana Censorship Brigade is a family-values group whose goal is to censor bananas that appear in public places, where children might see them. Their reasoning is that bananas are shaped vaguely like penises, and therefore could cause irreversible psychological damage in children.

The group runs around with black boxes that say CENSORED FOR BEING FILTHY, FILTHY, FILTH!!!!!!!!!!!! on them. They put the bananas inside the boxes so no innocent souls will be exposed to the trauma of a penis-shaped fruit. The goal of the group is to censor every single banana in the world, at which point they will presumably move on to cucumbers.

"Children should not be seeing stuff that resembles penises!!!!!" says Nigel Waterburg, founder of the group, "In fact, they shouldn't even be seeing their OWN penises until they're over twenty one!" According to the rules of the brigade, children may be allowed to eat bananas as long as they are blindfolded the entire time, so they don't see the potentially scarring shape of the banana.

The group's noble and blessed mission continues to this day. So please, help the cause, and lobby your grocery store to make the banana section "adults only." Unless you want your child's innocence crushed by the malicious filth of THIS:

PROTECT OUR CHILDREN!!! CENSOR THE BANANAS!!!!