The French Fry Slaughterer
The French Fry Slaughterer is the name of a vicious serial killer who rampaged across London, England, starting in the late 1980s. He used a french fry as a murder weapon, or at least he tried to. He never actually killed anyone.
His first victim was a ninety year old woman, who he bludgeoned with a soft, limp french fry for 4 years before giving up. He spent the next ten years following a young teenaged girl around, hitting her repeatedly on the head with the french fry and hoping that, if he kept doing it long enough, he'd kill her. In 2000, he killed himself with the french fry. And when I say he killed himself with the french fry, I mean he was hit by a truck. This brought an end to the reign of terror of The French Fry Slaughterer.
His apprentice, The Hot Dog Bun Butcher, is still at large in Scotland, where he reportedly bludgeoned an elderly man so much that he "almost noticed."