The Holy Dixie Cup

The Holy Dixie Cup (also known as the-all-mighty-magical-super-ninja-piece-of-cup-shaped-cardboard... or is it paper? No, it's bubble wrap, isn't it? Anyway...) is a famous artifact dating back to ancient times when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and Pokemon still had 151 little monsters. It was used at the last pizza party by Jebus- not to be confused with Jesus, who actually did some cool things. Jebus was just some guy living in his mother's basement and reading gamer magazines. Anyway, he drank some vegtable juice from this and imbued it with magical powers or something. Ether that or ObamallamaIV ran it over with a tractor. Something like that.

But then Jebus threw the Holy dixie cup away, and many people have quested to find this incredible relic. It is the only known way to defeat the evil forces of...well, evil. Good and Evil have been locked in a battle to find the Holy Dixie Cup since it was created, as it gives the user the power of holy-dixie-cup-ness. To unlock the power of the Dixie cup, you must stand on your head and sing the waffle song off-key in the middle of the road. JEBUS COMMANDS IT!!!!