The Minecraft Conspiracy

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Guys. Everything comes together here.

Part I: Southeast Rule[edit]

Many things in Minecraft are focused on the southeast.

  • In the nether, trees are mirrored along an unseeable line going towards southeast.
  • When a mob spawns, the first direction it ever faces is south. The only possible exception would be adult mobs spawned naturally.
  • TNT is automatically drawn to the southeast edge of the world. This is typically seen when comparing TNT cannons facing in opposite directions, as well as simply igniting TNT.
  • Villagers tend to enter the most south-eastern house of their village. Note this only includes houses with doors.
  • When moving southeast, both the X and Z axis values increase.

The most intriguing part of this is that, before the ender dragon came to be, everything was focused on the southwest. However, the mere presence of the ender dragon has shifted the point of focus by REVERSING THE DIRECTION OF THE VIRTUAL EARTH'S ORBIT AROUND THE SUN. Whatever this clearly-present life source is, it affects the Overworld and The Nether, and has been altered by the presence of the End.


If you are a vivid reader of this website, you have likely seen the brief discussion of a mysterious vortex. This vortex is likely affecting other things unintentionally. The adding of the ender dragon was directed by _jeb, who Notch had just given the rights of main Minecraft developer. As Notch set up the vortex, him no longer controlling it must have caused a glitch in said vortex, making it reverse the world's orbit.


Wow... this doesn't sound much like a joke now, does it? I'm... I'm serious. If we had solid proof there really was a vortex, this would actually sound like a legitimate theory. And we haven't even got to disc 11. I think I'm actually onto something here for once.

But what about this vortex?

Subpart: The Vortex's Use[edit]

You may think Markus "Notch" Persson is not using this vortex to travel back to the supposed country of IllogiLand. After all, it doesn't show up on any legitimate maps. I was one of these people, too.

However, I then looked back at that page and found this:


"Located on the southern border of the East Pole..."


Holy mother of bigs. Southeast.

This vortex must have actually been used to open a portal to IllogiLand, whichever dimension of enlightenment it's in. Once _jeb took control, even the location of IllogiLand changed to its present state.


Therefore, the South-East rule has been fully explained.

Part II: Disc 11[edit]

Before anyone mentions it in the tab of babbling... no, I don't think this is Herobrine. I've met the guy, and he's more mischievous than "OH MY ******* GOD RUN AWAY THE DEVIL IS UPON US". It isn't endermen, Slenderman, or freaky stuff like that. Supposedly, C418 - the guy behind Minecraft's music - has a definitive answer:

It's wolves.

The things that this explains are:

  • The record being broken. This could be the wolves assuming the original record was food.
  • The barking around the end. No, they're not trying to say "Herobrine". They're barking. The speech of dogs tends to be confused with human language. If Herobrine didn't exist, we'd probably hear something else.
  • The static. Again, wolf bites.
  • The sounds of someone running. Because wolves are predators.

These things being explained is enough. Some guy was going through a cave, tried to make an audio journal entry, and got killed by wolves. Dialogue was probably cut out by the attempted nomming.

Well, that was easy.

Part III: Herobrine[edit]

Yeah, no.

Part IV: ...?[edit]

Wait, is there anything else?

...hold on a minute...

...this is illogicopediia

This page needs to be random!

Um...

Circus seal?!!?

No... what if Sam looks at this article?

...you know what?

I think this part is sufficiently random.

Gibberish box

HORRAY!!!1!!!11!!1!!@1@1121!!!!1

awzxedrftgybnjik,m☺Ω

⭐️🌧

Part V : Proof there is no herobrine[edit]

Because herobrine is a chicken.

And most of those things listed above is dogs.

dogs eats chicken.

we eats chicken.

sam wave likes melon.

likes likes melon.

likes likes melon.

sam mike wave likes likes melon.

likes likes melon.

likes likes melon. (yay!)